🔒 PRIVACY POLICY 🔒

1. INFORMATION WE COLLECT

We collect information about you through various means, including but not limited to:

2. HOW WE USE YOUR INFORMATION

Your information may be used for:

• Processing your certification enrollment
• Shipping your OSHA violation collectibles
• Allowing Rick to haunt you more efficiently
• Matching you with compatible raccoon companions
• Determining your eligibility for Sub-basement 13A access
• Sending emergency honk alerts
• Union Local 404 membership administration
• Interdimensional marketing purposes

3. INFORMATION SHARING

We may share your information with:

• Inspector Rick: He already has access to everything (he's a ghost)
• The Raccoon Collective: They're on the board; they need to know
• Union Local 404: For solidarity purposes
• Other Dimensional Branches: Your data may exist in parallel universes
• Elevator 13: It's sentient and demands to know
• Third-Party Clowns: For honking coordination

We will NOT share your information with OSHA. They can find us themselves.

4. COOKIES AND TRACKING

We use the following technologies to track your behavior:

• Cookies: The regular kind (stored in your browser)
• Cookies: The snack kind (offered to raccoons as tribute)
• Spiritual Tracking: Rick just... knows where you are
• Clown Nose Beacons: They honk when you're near
• Duct Tape Analytics: Measures how stuck you are

5. DATA RETENTION

We retain your data for:

• Living Users: Until you're not
• Deceased Users: Indefinitely (see: Rick)
• Raccoon Users: In perpetuity (they're taking over)
• Interdimensional Users: Time doesn't work normally; unclear

6. YOUR RIGHTS

You have the right to:

• Access: Request a copy of your data (Rick will deliver it personally)
• Correction: Request corrections (we'll probably forget)
• Deletion: Request deletion (data may persist in the ghost realm)
• Portability: Transfer data to another dimension
• Objection: Object to processing (the raccoons will note your concern)
• Honk: You always have the right to honk

7. SECURITY

Your data is protected by:

• 256-bit encryption (when we remember)
• Inspector Rick's vigilant ghost surveillance
• A very dedicated raccoon named Security Steve
• Approximately 47 yards of duct tape
• The sheer chaos that makes our systems unpredictable

Note: No security system can guarantee 100% protection, especially when ghosts are involved.

8. CHILDREN'S PRIVACY

We do not knowingly collect data from children under 13, primarily because Floor 13 doesn't allow them. If your child has somehow accessed Sub-basement 13A, please contact us immediately (and also tell us how they did it).

9. INTERNATIONAL TRANSFERS

Your data may be transferred to:

• Other countries (standard stuff)
• Other dimensions (less standard)
• The spirit realm (Rick's domain)
• Wherever Elevator 13 decides to go

10. CONTACT US

For privacy-related inquiries:

• 📧 [email protected]
• 👻 Summon Rick and ask nicely
• 🦝 Leave a formal complaint in any overhead panel
• 📯 Honk your concerns at Sub-basement 13A entrance