Careers at Assclown Elevators
We're always looking for talented individuals who don't mind working alongside ghosts, negotiating with raccoons, and occasionally experiencing sideways motion.
💼 GHOST JOBS INC. - "Employment Beyond the Grave" - Flexible afterlife hours! 💼
*Compliance department is purely decorative
Lead elevator maintenance operations. Must be comfortable with sideways motion and occasional interdimensional travel.
Manage overhead panel tenant relations. Negotiate union contracts. Distribute snacks.
Conduct séances, approve haunted equipment, liaise with deceased inspectors. Death optional but preferred.
Design and implement load-bearing duct tape solutions. Innovation encouraged. Building codes optional.
Manage all honking-related emergencies. Must have excellent honk timing and lungs of steel.
Keep inspectors occupied while "maintenance" occurs. Juggling skills a plus.
Select and maintain elevator music playlists. Must enjoy "Entry of the Gladiators" on infinite loop.
All the tape you need. For work... or personal structural repairs.
Adopt an overhead panel tenant after 90 days.
Continue working even after death! Just ask Rick.
Monthly supply of our proprietary lubricant.
Work from any floor (including ones that don't exist).
Free admission to affiliated circuses worldwide.
Fill out the form below. Raccoon HR will review your application within 4-6 business dimensions.