International Brotherhood of Haunted Elevator Technicians
"If it ain't broke, it's definitely about to be."
Join today and receive your official (slightly haunted) membership card!
Card #404-XXXX-XXXX
Active Member
This card may exhibit paranormal properties. Not valid in dimensions 4+.
The raccoons are always one bad snack away from walking out.
I, [YOUR NAME], do solemnly swear to:
✦ Uphold the sacred traditions of elevator chaos
✦ Never cross a picket line, even a ghostly one
✦ Treat all raccoons with dignity and snacks
✦ Apply duct tape liberally and without hesitation
✦ Honor Inspector Rick's eternal wisdom
✦ Maintain solidarity with brothers and sisters across all dimensions
"Error 404: Safety Not Found"
Union Local 404 established after the Great Clown Grease Shortage. 13 original members, 8 of whom were raccoons.
Members successfully won the right to enable unauthorized elevator movement on additional axes.
Rick dies in mysterious elevator accident. Immediately returns as ghost inspector. Productivity increases.
Union stockpiles 10 million yards of duct tape. Elevators somehow become MORE chaotic.
Raccoons officially recognized as union members. They negotiate better benefits than humans.
Union goes online. Ghost members can now attend meetings from the spirit realm via Zoom séance.
Structural repairs shouldn't come out of our own pockets.
WON ✓Our overhead panel colleagues deserve medical benefits.
WON ✓Deceased members should receive posthumous pay.
PENDINGTime works differently in some shafts. Accommodate this.
PENDINGWorkers should be able to choose elevator music (not just "Entry of the Gladiators").
DENIEDAnyone working on floor 13 deserves extra compensation.
WON ✓New members. Learning the basics of chaos. Can attend meetings but cannot vote on strike actions.
1+ years experience. Full voting rights. Access to the secret handshake (it involves honking).
5+ years or 100+ violations. Can mentor apprentices. Gets a slightly nicer haunted clipboard.
Deceased members who continue working. Same benefits. Better parking (in the spirit realm).